1st page ranking on google

dragonHi, my name is Gina Bevona and I am an Online Strategist.

Hi Gina. What’s an online strategist?

The reason for my email is I have come across your site www.genderqueer.org.au and decided to run an analysis on your competition and your current search rankings. I also tried to look for your business on various social media sites and really couldn’t find much else about you.

Ah, by strategist you mean you’re selling Search Engine Optimisation. Well, the site you’re spamming me about already has first page google ranking and 300 pages of real content. But hey, what do I know?

Also, I’m wondering which social media sites you’re looking at? If it’s weibo, then yes, you’re right, we don’t have a presence in China. We also don’t have a presence on social media sites in Russia or Uzbeksistan either. That’s because we’re an English-language site and cater to Australia specifically. It’s in the name “Genderqueer Australia”.

Over the last 12 months GOOGLE has placed so much importance on Content Creation & Social Media Performance that if your business isn’t creating valuable content or even visible across social media platforms you have basically no chance of being seen on any search engine for keywords your customers are using to find businesses like you.

Point of order.

Google has ALWAYS put importance on content creation. It’s how it works out where to put websites in its search results. It’s ALL about content, not tricksy manipulation of keywords and head tags. Manipulation gets discovered and sites removed from search results altogether. Google is about quality not screwing with things.

With a solid plan and strategy I honestly believe I can help get your website ranking higher on GOOGLE and getting customers to interact with your business on Social Media to really build your brand.

Yeah, a plan such as:

  1. con some new website owner

  2. take their money

  3. run.

Don’t get me wrong this won’t be easy (or everyone would be doing it) but I would love to help out with no obligations or commitments.

Everyone IS doing it, you insincere dolt. Your email is only one of the hundreds that get caught by spam filters on my email servers and locally on my computer.

No obligations or commitments seems vaguely accurate though, and is likely the first truth you’ve mentioned; It’ll happen once I’ve paid you money and then the commitment will undoubtedly go out the window. Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

Can I call you and run some ideas I have to help your business grow?

If you’d actually spent time on the site, you’d have seen the About page indicates it’s for a community organisation, not a business. Also, if you call me, I’ll scream at you.

Regards,

Gina Bevona

SEO Co-ordinator

Yours in boredom,

Lisa.

Bullshit detecting force

p.s. I thought you were an online strategist?

 

 

Author: gotheek

Sometime writer, full time human.

6 thoughts on “1st page ranking on google”

  1. haha. I just got this same email.
    I was about to have almost the exact conversation as you did. lol It’s brilliant that you are posting these!

  2. @Emily – I agree with that sentiment – no idea how these parasites are breaching the walls of my filters. We work harder and harder to block the buggers and they work harder and harder to get past the defenses >.<

  3. Gina Bevona is a scumbag bottom feeder that has nothing better to do that harass people.
    I get no less than 5 emails a day and finally had to have my ISP block all 17 variations that the bitch sends!

    Obviously google and abuse-mh@peer1.com could care less!

  4. Gina Bevona probably doesn’t exist, or if she does, she’s likely to have had her identity stolen for the purposes of these emails. It’s the spambots you should be getting irritated with. I’m just making sport of them with these posts! 😀

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