1. Call any of their 13 numbers.
2. Get annoyed when the automated system keeps on at you to enter a valid telephone number for the address where the fault lies; eventually enter 00 00 00 00 00 00 just to shut the bloody thing up.
3. Tell the call centre staffmember where the geographical location of the problem is – the street number of the building it’s outside, street name, suburb and postcode.
4. Repeat the location and then spell the name of the street of where the problem is, complete with the postcode.
5. Repeat the postcode.
6. Twice
7. Wait while they look up the location and confirm again where the manhole cover is located.
8. Repeat the number of the address nearest the manhole cover. Again.
9. Wait while they do more looking up and nod wisely when they tell you the manhole cover was apparently repaired a week ago.
10. Repeat the manhole cover is definitely broken now.
11. To the question: “Is the damaged cover a danger to the public,” say “Yes”.
12. When asked if the manhole cover was damaged deliberately or not, say nicely that you don’t know as you weren’t there when it started to fall into the ground.
13. Tell them your name.
14. And surname
15. When asked, spell the surname.
16. Wait on hold while they get a job number reference.
17. Thank them for their help and admit that no, there is nothing further they can help you with. Ever.
18. Agree that you will have a great day now you’re going to be off the phone to them…

<word rant>

Okay, so here I am on my happy-slappy mac, running my happy-slappy mac with OS 10.5 and everything else.

And I have to create a document in MS word.

So I do so, and just so I can retrace my steps and use the formatting again, I save the document as a template (.dot) format.

So-far, so-good.

I’ve also saved it to a common drive, for use by others. This isn’t mapped implicitly in word:mac simply because I can’t find where to do it. There’s no “preferences” option under the Word menu, and the other place this particular option would be (at least in PC-World) — Tools — has no option for the changing of personal folders for templates either.

So I’m stuck saving to a share folder on a share drive. C’est la vie.

Now I want to open the template as a document.

Plan A: double-click the file in the Finder window.

I note with unease that the file hasn’t changed name (eg. document1 or similar). And when I try to save the file to the appropriate folder, I get the following highly helpful message:

You cannot save a template file to non-template format

And this is the case for every single other useful variation on the document format (.doc, .rtf, etc).

Useless.

Plan B: Do some research online to find a workaround

About.com has a question about precisely the same issue here.

I replied with a “your answer is disingenious and you’re a tosser”… well, no I didn’t because I’m subtle and slow-to-anger…

However, a subsequent response to the message gave me another way in – open the file as a copy. Which I did.

Strike two:

You cannot save a template file to non-template format

Plan C: Convert the whole thing to Pages and deal with minor irritations of formatting destruction on an export to Word

This is going to work. For though the export from Pages to Word can often have formatting issues, it’s better than fighting with Word to get something FUCKING SIMPLE DONE!!!

HONESTLY! How hard can it BE?!

Which IDIOT coded this particular piece of annoyance.

I’ve worked with MS word for over 10 years, and looking back, I’ve never had a good thing to say about it. I’m glad when things work, but the stress-factors with making them work is abysmal.

Fuck it. I’m going to use a word processor that actually works.

Microsoft Word coders are all bastards. And I mean that honestly and from the heart.

</word rant>

Web design would be a picnic in a park on a nice day if not for the wonderment of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer.

It makes things interesting for sure.

Now, I’m of the opinion that writing a specific CSS for each different browser type (IE, Mozilla, Safari, everything else) is really time-intensive.

Call me lazy, but I’d rather create one CSS which will work for all. And with as few IE-specific hacks (ie comments with different behaviours attached) as possible.

However, when you’ve got a specific problem, which just won’t go away, you have to go back to tesing 101 and first principles. By the way this is by no-means a complete list, and is more a braindump for my future reference. If anyone else finds it useful, let me know though!

step 1: reproduce the problem somewhere else.

This means you can identify exactly what the problem is.

note: this may take a lot of time and effort. I find that it’s sometimes helpful to know foreign languages and the specific profanities of said languages during this stage. No punching the monitor!

step 2: Simplify the code (links into step one)

The idea here is to simplify the code. I’ve found that removing classes and things like that is far easier than mucking around too much. IE is a simple beast and likes a less complicated world. In fairness, less complicated wins.

For instance, try to use standard font styles (H1, H2, P, etc).

Furthermore, check spellings, semicolons and all the tags are in the right places.

step 3: use a validator (eg validator w3.org)

This will find all sorts of odds and ends. Fix what you can. Really.

step4: don’t make changes to a live site: always test beforehand.

A no-brainer perhaps, but it’s nice to note. I use a system of numbered folders for each different version of a site. I should really get something a little more elegant, a proper version control system, but this works for now.

I’ll add more later. Just got a site working and moving onto the flash banner. w00t!

Canon scanners and Mac’s OS 10.5 aren’t really friends.

Well, Canon doesn’t like 10.5 at any rate.

The problem seems to run around in circles with the Canoscan software (available here).

Fine, you download the driver for your scanner (in my case, a LIDE25), and then the Canoscan software, but then we get into this tailspin whenever you want to scan something…

Cannot find driver

That’s the message. Then sometimes it’ll scan… and then again not.

But the solution is to install the Canon scanner driver (again, the LIDE25 is available — through a slightly tortuous route here) and not to bother with the CanoScan software at all.

You use Mac’s built-in Image Capture application.

I’ve wondered what the hell this is for since I got into macs back-in-the-day… I think I started with 10.3 back in 2004.

Anyway, I would open the application and it’d say “Nope, nothing to do here” and then sit there tapping it’s electronic foot. I’d just turn it off and go and do something else.

However, it works with scanners. Probably what it’s meant for in the first place.

The proof was found today at my friend G’s place; she had a HP multifunction monstrosity (deskjet 9100 from memory), and it was simply impossible to:

(a) find drivers for Mac 10.5

(b) get them to download

I gave up. I’m never buying a HP peripheral as long as I live (but I said that about Optus and going on their telephone network a few years ago, and now am a proud owner of an iPhone on the Optus network. Never say never…)

Anyway, the HP scanner was a no-go. So I went the Canon route, and after having the irritation of the above-mentioned error message, did some more research, and found the solution already mentioned.

The funny thing is that Image Capture gives you far more control over the scanned image and resulting output than the Canoscan software.

Go figure.

Okay, now I’ve stopped giggling madly and rolling around on the floor in an equally insane manner, I’ll start again.

Exporting email, addresses and calendars from Outlook to a Mac is NOT a trivial exercise. It’s a pain in the arse.

And it’s a major failing for Apple. I read an article recently in The Age that said this and — I freely admit — that I thought “It can’t be so. Surely it can’t be that hard?”.

By the way, just on a related tangent, if mail crashes after an import,  go to <user>\Library\Mail\Mailboxes and delete the import folders. That’ll bring it back.

The issue is that the import folders can’t handle really huge import folders from Outlook. You’ve got to be a bit more reasonable about the size. For example, my friend had nearly 2,000 messages in their inbox. Mail (and Entourage for that matter) can’t handle the import or the firing-up of this size of folder. Spread the messages out a bit and you’re fine.

But back to my job for the weekend: moving email, contacts and calendar from Outlook to Mac. Easy?

Hah.

For the punters out there, here’s how I achieved this astonishingly difficult goal…in hindsight, I should have clicked the links in the above-mentioned article and bought a copy of 02M.

Now from the look of it, this whole thing could also have been done with a handy app called SyncWiz. Only I didn’t have the cash (am a bit broke at the moment, which is — ironically enough — the reason I’m doing this job).

Migrating the Mail

Part One: Get the mail into Mozilla Thunderbird.

Why? Because it has a “mbox” standard file structure. Outlook has a native system which nothing else on the planet can read, including — oddly enough — Entourage for Mac. You’d think by being the same company they’d talk to each other.

Perhaps not.

1. Download Mozilla Thunderbird and install.

2. Import Outlook mail to Thunderbird.

3. Tidy the folders so there are no more than 400 messages per folder. In my case, I was importing from a friend’s email account which in some cases had almost 2,000 messages in the inbox. A great big issue.

4. Copy the Thunderbird mail folders, found in the following path to your mac. I used an external drive because I couldn’t be arsed trying to network the two computers; I have only a certain amount of patience and time on the planet after all. Oh, here’s the path:

c:\Documents and Settings\YOUR USER\Application Data\Thunderbird\Profiles\<incomprehensible weirdness>.default\mail\Local Folders\

Nothing like having a clear, easy to find and understand folder path, eh?

Part Two: Get the files over onto the mac

Any way you can, get them over. Use a firewire drive or something fast.

Part Three: Import Into Mac Mail

A twist to the tale here is that you really have to remember to have made the mailbox folders have notalot of messages. 600 kept crashing mail. 500 did the same. 400 or less seems to work. Kind-of.

Oh, and it won’t import everything at once. So you have to remember how many messages are in each. Best to keep the original computer open and showing the folders to be honest, that way you’ve got a fighting chance of getting it done before the decade’s up.

If you’re importing to another application – say Entourage – then you won’t be able to import all the mail. Do it in stages, because Entourage’s import function dies if it’s got too much to import. But then again, so does Mail.

NOTE: This doesn’t import everything. For some untold reason the mailbox files don’t always have messages in them.

One possible alternative is to:

- add a “.mbox” extention to all the files that don’t have an extension already

- then drag and drop the files individually to the dock icon.

Part four: Import into Entourage (if you really have to)

My job was to get the messages into this monstrosity of an application. I don’t ask questions these days. Really best not to.

1. Close Mac Mail.

2. Open Entourage.

3. Resist urge to punch screen when Entourage plays it’s jolly little theme.

4. From the File Menu, choose Import.

5. In the Import wizard, choose “Import information from a program” and click the > arrow.

6. Choose “Apple Mail” and click the > arrow.

The import may well crash. Keep trying, it’ll usually work on the second try.

7. Tidy the Import folders so they’re meaningful and any crashed import folders are removed. They get numbered which is sorta nice, but it’d be nicer if the import didn’t die. Beggars can’t be choosers though.

8. Hope you’ve got some gin and lemons in the house. Whoops, did I say that?

And there you are. Welcome to my hell.

NOTE: This doesn’t import everything. For some untold reason the mailbox files don’t always have messages in them.

One possible alternative is to:

- add a “.mbox” extention to all the files that don’t have an extension already

- then drag and drop the files individually to the dock icon.

- click OK to import the file to the application.

Migrating the addressbook

Okay, you should do this from Thunderbird again. This is somewhat easier.

Part One: Export the addressbook from Thunderbird

1. In Thunderbird. click Address book.

2. Select the address book to export (in my case it happened to be the one with addresses in it. Don’t laugh).

3. From the Tools menu, choose Export.

4. Give the file a name and choose the appropriate folder, then

• If you’re exporting for Mac addressbook, choose LDIF
• If you’re exporting for Entourage, choose Comma Separated or tab separated.

5. Click Save.

Viola!

Get it onto the mac

Any way you can. This will be a far smaller file, so it’ll be easier.

Import it to addressbook (if you want to sync with another device)

1. Open Addressbook.

2.From the File menu, choose Import and LDIF.

And you’re done.

Import it to Entourage (if you want to use it here)

1. Open Entourage.

2. From the File menu, choose Import.

3. In the wizardy thing, choose Import information from a text file

4. Choose Import contacts from a tab- or comma- delimited text file.

5. Find the file, select it and click Import.

There you are.

Now for the calendar.

Migrate your calendar

Get it out of Outlook

You need a plugin for Firebird for this: Ligntning…

Once the plugin is working in Firebird…

1. Export your outlook calendar as CSV

2. Import the CSV into Lightening.

3. Export as iCalendar format.

Shift it to the mac

Enough said.

Get it into iCal

by the way, you might have noticed the language getting less and less formal. That’s because I’ve been at this all day and just want it to end. I’ve *really* earned this money. Not that I don’t usually of course.

1. Open iCal and from the File menu, choose Import.

2. Choose the .ics file and click OK.

Done.

Import into Entourage

Unbelievable. There’s no way to “import” this, but you can get it in.

1. Select the ics file.

2. Press the Apple (cloverleaf) key and the i key together (get Info).

3. Under “Opens With” select Entourage.

4. Double-click the file…

And you’re done.

For my next job I’ll be juggling snowballs through hell.

I am constantly gobsmacked at how hard some “professional” applications make things.

Take for example something as obvious as a shape with a dotted line.

I want to make some buttons for a website. Ordinarily I’d just create a shape in something like Keynote or Powerpoint with the appropriate line, cut and paste into something like Seashore and cut the bits I need. No it’s not the “ideal” way to do this, but it consistently works and takes me ten minutes, tops.

But I’ve recently become a Photoshop person. I like the layers, which PS will do. But try getting a dotted line on a shape. Really.

Finally after hours and hours of searching, I found how to do it here.

Surely they can make something like this simpler? Or is this the now standard “exclusive” approach rather than “inclusive”? After all, we can’t have just *anyone* doing graphic design can we? There’s lines of demarcation to worry about.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLlGopyXT_g&hl=en&fs=1]

Another use for an iPod Touch.

Sounds a bit like the apple remote to me, but as the article says, the touch can also act as a keyboard (if you are prepared to get used to the thumb-tapping interface).

With companies like Meraki slowly rolling-out blanket wi-fi access (and Meraki is part-owned by google, so they’re doing this potentially to add value to the Android phone) it won’t be long before the Touch can actually be used viably as a VoIP phone.

Give it a couple more years though… we’re a good 3-years behind the tech here in OZ.

Well, it ain’t an iPhone…

Looks like a pale version of a Crackberry or even — goddess forbid — a Palm Treo.

Funny how Sony Ericsson is bagging the devic, especially since they’ve just linked their destiny to Microsoft.

So, it’ll really be a battle of the phones. iPhone is apparently going gangbusters wherever it’s sold (and some places it isn’t), the Crackberry is potentially making a rod for its own back, Palm is just about dead, so what else is there?

Well, the OpenMoko Neo1973 still hasn’t been released, but it still looks very good, and sports a nifty touch-screen a’la iPhone, and there really isn’t any real competitor as far as I can see to the iPhone other than the aforementioned Android…

So the game’s afoot really…

Thanks to L, who took this pic close to work…