Customer enquiry from Truelocal – Amez

truelocalA customer has found your business on TrueLocal & left you a message.

Oh, how nice. Thanks for fielding this for me.

“Dear Sir/Madam, Please permit me to introduce our self to you. We are web Designing/Development Company based in India, We have gained extensive experience over the past 7 years working with other customers in this field & now seeking opportunities to provide our services to international customers.

Dammit Truelocal! This is SPAM! You know how I can tell? The English is abysmal, they don’t tell me who they are (specifics like a business name, address and other relevant details), and it looks almost identical to every other piece of bloody SPAM I get in my mailbox! What the hell, people?! Don’t you have SPAM filters on your systems?

If you are looking for someone that works tirelessly to complete a task, within budget, and on-time, with a high degree of professionalism, then look no further. We have a track record of excellent task Performance with delivery ahead of schedule & high standards of quality. We are confident that you won’t find more professional work at such competitive prices.

More evidence to support my conclusion:

  1. Capitalisation within the sentence,
  2. No actual evidence that they are what they say they are (for example, the name and contact details of an ex-client),
  3. Overblown opinions of their work.

We guarantee that you will be satisfied with the standard of our work and expertise.. My Commitment to You: We will be glad to develop for you or your customer at NO COST a sample mock up web design on a pre-approval basis to completely gain your confidence. Once you are satisfied with the quality of our work we would be glad to complete the full website design, for you or your customer, to meet your requirements & at price that I am sure will knock your socks off.

More mangling of English here too. All I read is blah, blah, blah, I’m a dirty Spammer.

But what makes me the most irritated is that after 5 years of being on Truelocal, this is the first email you’ve sent me purporting to be from an actual customer (and is in-fact, a spammer). I do better off word of mouth than your idiot service.

Perhaps it’s because you’ve just been sold to Sensis, who I always liked to call SenseLess because they’re pretty shocking at what they do; YellowPages anyone? Seriously, anyone who pays for advertising on YellowPages needs introduction to the world of Google which doesn’t obscure content when searched for and returns the most popular results rather than the highest paid ones. Yellow Pages is early 20th Century thinking.

According to many newspapers of record, including The Australian, and the Sydney Morning Herald, Truelocal has been sold to SenseLess as a way of improving your worth. Hellstra is still trying to make money out of you.

Maybe what’s happened is that News Limited have just switched-off all the SPAM filtering prior to you taking-over the company. That would make sense and be a reason for this piece of predictable rubbish to slip into my inbox.

Our ethic is hard work & customer satisfactions are my first priorities. Looking forward to the opportunity to meet your needs. Yours Sincerely Sales Team Amazing Web Solutions, (USA, Australia, India) E-mail : info@amazingwebsolutions.net Website: www.amazingwebaustralia.com.au Skype: info.aws Skype: amez2211 Please consider your environmental responsibility. Do not print this e-mail unless you really need to. This mail is not a spam e-mail. You received this mail because your e-mail address is listed in our address book or one of your friends recommended your name. If this e-mail caused any inconvenience, we apologize for the same. Since India has no anti-spamming law, we follow the US Unsolicited Electronic Mail act of 2000 and the US directive passed in Bill 1618 Title III by the 105th US Congress, which states that mail cannot be considered Spam if it contains contact information, which this mail does, and a remove echoism. In case we have troubled you with this e-mail please click at info@amazingwebsolutions.net here and send us an empty mail with subject “REMOVE” and please be sure to give the exact address at which you received this e-mail, to stop getting any future e-mail from us. “

And this block of text shows how amateurish either the sender is (no line breaks anywhere), or that your text editor is.

Come on, we’re in the second decade of the 21st century people! Get with the bloody programme!

Please find their contact details below:

Name: Amez

Phone: +61- 433755108

Email: info@amazingwebsolutions.net

The TrueLocal team

Yeah, thanks Truelocal for your contribution to my spam blog. Really thought a local company would have a much better grasp of what constitutes legitimate contact.

Author: gotheek

Sometime writer, full time human.