From the inbox!

It’s a hive of activity here at; we’re inundated with literally whole numbers of emails every month; seriously, we can count them on one hand with our tactile members!. Below are some we thought didn’t deserve a whole post but were worthwhile noting here.

SEO Service $99 per month (among others)

Pooja Jindel of wants us to take-up SEO services. Apparently they’ve been doing this for 3 years.

I could have sworn I’ve heard this tale before.

Search Engine Optimisation

Mark, with the not at all dodgy email address asks:

I was wondering if you would be interested in search engine optimization services for your website at a very low cost.


We can promote your website to 1st page placement on Google, Yahoo, or Bing in three to six months guaranteed with our “National SEO” package. Three to six months is typical for all our SEO packages!

Mark, Mark, Mark. Where do I begin? You’ve said you’ve looked at the blog, so why are you trying to sell me something that we’ve rejected wholeheartedly through the factual rebuttal and systematic humiliation of the senders? Besides, a National SEO package seems counter-productive at best. The web sees no boundaries and the NSA counts on this!

Integrated marketing help

Joseph Taylor, with a similarly dodgy email address,  talks about the same old stuff: that isn’t getting social media traffic, that we’re a company and the site isn’t user-friendly on mobile devices.


We’ve talked on these subjects at length in the past, so instead we’ll talk about Joseph’s postscripts (the P.S. you get at the end of emails and letters)

PS I: I am not spamming. I have studied your website and believe I can help with your business promotion. If you still want us to not contact you, you can ignore this email or ask to remove and I will not contact again.

Oh yes you are. Don’t quack then tell me you’re an animatronic leopard. The email was unsolicited, it’s on common subject-matter that is often received by unsuspecting people and you’re using hard sell.

I’ll pass on the emailing you because, like politicians, it’ll only encourage you.

PS II: I found your site using Google search and after having a look over your website I recommend you to implement future technologies such as HTML5 and Responsive Design to make your site more accessible in mobile phone, tablets, desktop etc.

It’s P.P.S. (as in post-postscript) you ignorant dolt.

Moving on, however.

We’ve been trying to across to you

Dave and Angela Dawes of wonder how they can get to me with a blank email body but the title above.

I recommend walking, depending on whether you’re close, motorised transport (including cars, buses and trams), also planes if you’re in a different country.

Free money!

Ehiaghe C Ediale of the MassatusMassetussets

#*&$#! Hang on, Google to the rescue.

Ehiaghe of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) says Nokia is going to give me a million dollars!

I’ll take it in a brown paper bag of non-consecutive non traceable notes. No coin please, I’m not strong enough to lift that much cash.

Author: gotheek

Sometime writer, full time human.