- Call any of their 13 numbers.
- Get annoyed when the automated system keeps on at you to enter a valid telephone number for the address where the fault lies; eventually enter 00 00 00 00 00 00 just to shut the bloody thing up.
- Tell the call centre staffmember where the geographical location of the problem is – the street number of the building it’s outside, street name, suburb and postcode.
- Repeat the location and then spell the name of the street of where the problem is, complete with the postcode.
- Repeat the postcode.
- Twice
- Wait while they look up the location and confirm again where the manhole cover is located.
- Repeat the number of the address nearest the manhole cover. Again.
- Wait while they do more looking up and nod wisely when they tell you the manhole cover was apparently repaired a week ago.
- Repeat the manhole cover is definitely broken now.
- To the question: “Is the damaged cover a danger to the public,” say “Yes”.
- When asked if the manhole cover was damaged deliberately or not, say nicely that you don’t know as you weren’t there when it started to fall into the ground.
- Tell them your name.
- And surname
- When asked, spell the surname.
- Wait on hold while they get a job number reference.
- Thank them for their help and admit that no, there is nothing further they can help you with. Ever.
- Agree that you will have a great day now you’re going to be off the phone to them…
In: Amazing, Belgium!, Morons, Tech tips |
