I’m in a philosophical mood right now. Not sure what the emoticon is for that, but I’m sure there is one.
It came up in conversation with G last night that we all carry things we’re ashamed of, wish we had done better or seriously regret.
We are all broken in our own ways.
Whether we can forgive ourselves is a topic that we can all talk around in circles. It took me a long time to forgive myself for hurting someone I loved. I think now I have let it go as much as I can, but sometimes talking about it does bring back the pain of the events.
As far as forgiveness is concerned though, we’re not actually forgiving ourselves. We’re forgiving the person we were. In some cases that person may only be a few years younger, in others, it’s decades since the fateful event that hurt us (and possibly others) occurred. The person that we were is not who we are now. Hopefully we are wiser, clearer about who we are and what we stand for, more grounded and settled in our own skins. The person we are now is a stranger to the person we were then.
A kind stranger has the ability to listen to, avoid judgement, and forgive another. In doing this, perhaps we can allow our younger selves to put down the burden of their guilt, that weight that can crush us to our very soul.