Organic SEO for

gotheek-com-mobile Team,

I don’t know if you can have a team if there’s only one of you. My sidebar widget called “About Moi” indicates there is indeed one of me and I’m not being stalked by errant clones and doppelgangers. Pity, life could be more interesting if that were the case. I could get them to write my essays for school and put my feet up for a well-earned rest.

I thought you might like to know some reasons why you are not getting enough Social Media and Organic search engine traffic for

Honestly? Well, content from here pushes to Facebook and Twitter; there’s facility to push it elsewhere too. However, as nice as more readers might be, a lot of the blog is precisely that: a blog.

1. Your website is not ranking top in Google organic searches for many competitive keyword phrases.

That’s because it’s a blog. It’s an online diary with a bunch of things on it, including ramblings, storytelling and, increasingly, cutting cynical dissection of SPAM messages I keep getting. Thanks, by the way, for providing more content for me.

2. Your company is not doing well in most of the Social Media Websites.

Really? Well, I have around 150 followers on Facebook and at least that on Twitter. Oh, I see your mistake. You’ve conflated my personal online presence with that of a company. It’s easy done I can see, especially with posts such as Fuck Off, Arrogant Presumption, and, a personal favourite, Three dot gone.

3. Your site is not user friendly on mobile devices.

I know. My site doesn’t like them at all. It yells at them from my mac and is quite jealous of my sleek, new iPhone 5. That’s what you get when you mix the walled garden that is Apple with open source WordPress.

There are many additional improvements that could be made to your website, and if you would like to learn about them, and are curious to know what our working together would involve, then I would be glad to provide you with a detailed analysis in the form of a WEBSITE AUDIT REPORT for FREE.

Does it need more obvious headings? Could I be adding keywords and black-hat SEO? Do I actually need these things as it is, as already noted, a personal blog?

Our clients consistently tell us that their customers find them because they are at the top of the Google search rankings. Being at the top left of Google (#1- #3 organic positions) is the best thing you can do for your company’s website traffic and online reputation.

Yes, businesses often note that being high in the search results of the number one search engine in the world helps their business. But as Google points out in this rather revealing website page, there’s limitations to being number one, and it’s mainly because there’s always newer content!

I found your site using Google search and after having a look over your website I think you should implement HTML5 designing and Responsive Design to make your site more accessible in mobile phone, tablets, desktop etc.

Well, in fact, HTML5 will only work on a limited number of web browsers to date (but you can find out which ones are better at this website), so it’s not yet fully implemented. Responsive design will indeed make sites more accessible, but if you check the image above, you’ll see it works perfectly well in an iPhone5. Would you perhaps be telling porkies to encourage me to engage your services?

Sound interesting? Feel free to email us or alternatively you can provide me with your phone number and the best time to call you.


Best Regards,
Kacie Schiffer
Asst. Vice President

Well Kacie, thanks to the reverse lookup system available online, I can see you’re on a VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol) system which really means you could be just about anywhere in the world. While physical location is no barrier to doing business, I’d really prefer to be calling someone in my own country in order to scream down the phone line at them for wasting time. It’s cheaper that way. Also, are you one of these people? If so, I wonder if you’re branching out into SEO to fund your fabulous lifestyle?

PS: I am not spamming. I have studied your website and believe I can help with your business promotion. If you still want us to not contact you, you can ignore this email or ask to remove and I will not contact again.

Well, you saying that you’re not spamming is indeed reassuring. However, as already demonstrated, your study of this website indicates that you’re either vision impaired, intelligence-impaired or quite possibly both.

Author: gotheek

Sometime writer, full time human.

17 thoughts on “Organic SEO for”

  1. Got exactly the same piece of Spam with the exception of the sender, in my case the sender was Asst.Vice President Chloe Lee. No Company Web details, Address or Landline number.
    Which just shrieks of dishonesty, Phishing, and all other kinds of abuse.

    Think your blog is excellent – Thanks

  2. Got the exact same email except from a “chloe lee” also an “ASST VP”
    Definitely spamming. But it does have a phone number. creepy. Call it!

  3. @James – making an international call isn’t high on the list of priorities at present! Anyway, I’d need an unlisted number to call from and a coverstory 😀

  4. gmail, yahoo and hotmail accounts are a big indicator that something is awry, Mark. If a company wants to do business a way of indicating they’re legit is to have their email address be from their business domain! 😀

  5. HAHA we got the same one from Ethan Lim
    Asst. Vice President Iditot did not study our web site enough. Had he done so, he would have seen that we do rank number one and in some case 1,2,3 &4 of keywords/phrases. Anyways, glad to see you share this garbage with the world.

  6. Hey Christmas,
    Thanks for the comment! Glad you’re enjoying!
    Unfortunately the real issue is that the people whose names are appended to these SPAM emails aren’t real. Or if they are, they’ve had their identities stolen for the purposes of making someone else tons of cash.
    We blog about these nefarious miscreants as more of a public service, to inform as well as entertain! 😀

    have a good one!

  7. Or indeed any account that doesn’t match the sender’s name, company or what they’re offering. If you or I can get an account with the organisation (Gmail, Yahoo, Microsoft/Live) then it’s unlikely to be legit!

  8. Thanks Wayne. Hope we’re bringing some light to the pit of SPAM you’re receiving 😉

  9. I just got the same email, from freeseowork.diana (seriously? That’s really professional!) with Chloe Lee as the “Asst. Vice President” (whilst carefully omitting the company name!).

    The best part was that this dumbass SEO scammer had gone to my personal web site and blog – – and manually typed in their message… about which is an electrical service company in Queensland, Australia! So they can’t even keep web site domain names straight… So pathetically funny that I actually replied to them, and sent them a link to this blog post (and told them I’d probably blog about their cluelessness on my own blog too… but I don’t think I can do it just like you did Lisa!).

  10. Thanks Sean, appreciate the positive comments 😉 The trouble of course is that the SPAMmers aren’t giving a personal service, they’ll just be using bots to harvest email addresses and sending them out. While these blog posts are fun to write, it is rather like yelling at a wall 0_o

  11. “While these blog posts are fun to write, it is rather like yelling at a wall”

    Actually, you’d be surprised at the amount of good it does. Every time someone reposts one of their crappy outreach letters verbatim like this, they have to rewrite it otherwise – as you’ve seen – people can and will google a snippet and see that it’s baloney. Which is one of the reasons why there are so many people here 🙂

    It’s also the reason why they have to use so many fake names, gmail addresses for easy switching, et cetera.

    Lastly, you might be pleased to know that the chances of a human spammer on the other end reading our replies are actually rather high – *someone* has to sift through the hundreds (if not thousands) of replies and see if there are any gullible people willing to part with their cash. That’s something a computer can’t do.

    So yeah, chip away at them and break their spirit. Or better still, play along with their charade and see what ludicrous directions you can take them while they think they’ve got the holy grail of a potential client 🙂

  12. Got the same one last night. Thanks for posting this – It showed up in my google search for “Chloe Lee SEO” or something like that. Oh, lookie there.. Chloe has already helped you…

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