Website Design & Development Services

ashFrom: Ashi Rana <ashi.itsourceinc990@gmail.com>

Greetings from Ash.

Now that’s a truly odd way to start an email. Normally one would follow letter-writing etiquette with a “Dear John”.

Are you looking for a reliable, creative and experienced team for the web designing or redesigning of your website???

No.

Do you want to put your business model and creative ideas in the design of your website?

Not on this website. It’s a blog which is currently being used to poke-fun at SPAM I receive.

We will match your business goal with our creative ideas.

Hang on. I thought MY business model and creative ideas were being put together. Your creative ideas I don’t much care for given you’ve sent unsolicited mail to my email account, and are a terrible grammarian. Maybe try Grammargirl for some tips on writing an email message that’s actually going to make sense.

We are a vibrant and fast moving platform that surpasses customers’ expectations by consistent focus on the designing, creativity and business model. We are one of the India’s largest firms with finely crafted creative and strategic designers and develop an SEO friendly website to give meaning to your online business.

In the context you’re talking about, a platform is “A framework on which applications may be run” (Wikipedia: Platform). You yourself have said you’re a firm, which is a business and not a platform, unless of course your referring to a diving board upon which your business has been placed, teetering on the edge of doom. In this case I’d be even less inclined to work with you as you’re moments away from electrocution in the pool below you.

We have innovative web solutions for “organisation” including advanced database interactivity & database design, e-commerce solutions; Flash design with programming etc. Our are in expertise following areas:

This one really made me laugh. You didn’t even have the decency to add my website name in where it says “Organisation”. Seriously Ash, you need to spend more time on your emails before sending them out willy-nilly.

1. HTML/DHTML
2. Flash Pages with programming.
3. Advanced Database interactivity.
4. XML
5. Programming in PHP. ASP.Net
6. Logo Designing

Yeah. And if you expect me to believe that, I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

Please revert for designing or redesigning of your website with the most competitive rate and the best quality delivery. Work with us and you would see the difference

I think you mean reply.

re·vert [ri-vurt] verb 1.to return to a former habit, practice, belief, condition, etc.: They reverted to the ways of their forefathers. 2.Law. to go back to or return to the former owner or to his or her heirs.

Kind Regards
Ash Rana
Online Marketing Consultant

Shakespeare said it best:

Never hung poison on a fouler toad.
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.
Richard III, Act 2, Scene 2

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail transmission and any documents, files, or previous E-mail messages appended or attached to it, may contain information that is confidential or legally privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, or a person responsible for delivering it to the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that you must not read this transmission and that any disclosure, copying, printing, distribution, or use of the information contained or attached to this transmission is STRICTLY PROHIBITED. If you have received this transmission in error, please immediately notify the sender by a reply e-mail message and delete the original transmission, its attachments, and any copies without reading or saving in any manner.

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: If you send me idiotic SPAM, I’m going to mercilessly hammer you and your business model. I will publish your email address and business name if you’re stupid enough to include it in your message. I’ll also make very, very sure that everyone knows what a total idiot you and your company are.

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DISCLAIMER: If you want me to treat your message as anything other than fair game, then endeavour to ensure your grasp of the English language is better than that of a boa-constrictor in the midst of a meal. Any disclaimers or confidentiality notices that include acts of parliament of any country will be treated as the jokes they are and mocked with extreme prejudice.

Idiot.

Author: gotheek

Sometime writer, full time human.